musings of old men.

The biggest lie I tell myself is …”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.  We haven’t met yet!

I don’t trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

I don’t have gray hair. I have “wisdom highlights”. I’m just very wise.

My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.

The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than “please”. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes”.

I’m going to retire and live off of my savings.  Not sure what I’ll do that second week.

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

“Inside  every older person is a younger person wondering what  happened”

When my generation is gone, there’ll be no one left to remember, even second hand, what life was like, wen there were only Tories in Parliament.

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