I’ll get out of the middle lane, if you’ll allow me to do so safely

Sometimes, when I’m on the motorway, slowly overtaking a convoy of lorries, with the outside lane clear, I’ll see a herd of salesmen and important people advancing on me.

I step up my speed to 80mph to get past and back into the lorry lane but I’ll be too slow.

An important person will close in on my rear end, whilst the outside lane fills with sales reps doing the ton.
I’m stuck, because, if a gap in the slow lane appears, I need to avoid “cutting up” the lorry driver (they resent it), whilst I “know” that my¬† tailgater will proceed to overtake me, when I’m still only halfway over.

He’ll clip my rear, put me in a spin (I’ve watched USA cop chases) and cause me to crash, whilst he drives off to his important lunch.

Now I have to watch out for taxmen disguised as traffic cops.

On another occasion I’ll move into the middle lane because there’s a joining lane ahead and I can see the sales reps speeding along it.

They will not be slowing down to avoid colliding with granddad in the “slow” lane, in fact they’ll probably shoot through into my lane and then into “their” lane.

In any case, I’m not going to move into the lorry lane so I can be sandwiched between the joiner’s to my left and the important people to my right……………. I’ll play piggy in the middle lane until we’re past the jostling.

If the Government genuinely wanted to stop me lingering in the middle lane, they’d make it easier for me to move in and out of it, by catching and prosecuting (effectively) those who delight in speeding.

The solution is more Motorway camera’s and the imprisonment of disqualified driver’s who are using the motorway.

It won’t happen.

Instead we’ll get more revenue collector’s in unmarked police cars, fining middle lane drivers and ignoring tail gaters, because video evidence of the former is easier to collect.

Speedster’s will continue to escape retribution, because they are important people, or have important jobs relying on them being able to drive at high speed.

Also, because as soon as a police car (marked) enters the motorway, the important people stand on their brakes and cause a huge traffic snarl-up.

I suspect this middle lane law was dreamed up by all the important people, who live in and around London, where speeding is “not really illegal” and only applies to “small” people.

I’ll carry on trying to avoid hogging the middle lane but if you do find youself behind me, don’t drive up my exhaust in the hope that I’ll put my foot down, or play dodgems with the driver on my left.

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