@stephenfry: The intellectual output of Alan Davies

I recently got this link:

http://rhubarbgrumble.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/tv-funnyman-alan-davies-is-set-to.html

It describes a podcast by Alan Davies, reprinted below.

I’ve never really liked Alan Davies.

For me, he spoils QI and I can’t understand why Stephen Fry finds him so endearing. It’d be nice if others on the show were allowed to earn their fee, without being blitzed out by the inane chunnering of this professional dimwit.

I had thought he was acting a part, until I read this:

Monday, April 9, 2012

TV funnyman Alan Davies is set to provoke a storm of protest for a foul-mouthed rant criticising Liverpool Football Club’s refusal to play on the anniversary of the Hillsborough Disaster.

The Jonathan Creek and QI star made his shocking outburst during the latest edition of his popular podcast for Arsenal fans ‘The Tuesday Club’.

The 46-year-old — who once hit the headlines for biting a homeless man’s ear in a drunken attack outside a swanky London club — was discussing the dates of the forthcoming FA Cup semi-finals at Wembley.

Liverpool’s clash with Merseyside rivals, Everton, takes place on Saturday, April 14th. Tottenham take on Chelsea the following day — the 23rd anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster.

Liverpool refuse to play on April 15th as a show for respect for the ninety-six football fans who died in a crush at an FA Cup Semi Final at the stadium in Sheffield on that date in 1989.

But Davies seemed to care more about the fact that Liverpool’s stance meant Chelsea were having to play their FA Cup tie only three days before their Champions League last-four clash with Barcelona.

He ranted: “Liverpool and the 15th — that gets on my tits that shit. What are you talking about, ‘We won’t play on the day’. Why can’t they?”

Laughing nervously, one of his co-presenters, Ian Stone, tried to point out why Liverpool FC don’t take a business-as-usual approach to the most painful day in the club’s history, saying: “Because it’s too sad a memory.”

But that simple and obvious explanation failed to deter Davies, who was on a roll.

He said: “Do they play on the date of the Heysel Stadium disaster? How many dates do they not play on? Do Man United play on the date of Munich? Do Rangers play on the date when all their fans died in that disaster whatever year that was – 1971?”

Davies – who trades off his cuddly TV image – continued in his attack by savaging the Liverpool legend and manager Kenny Dalglish, who has defended the decision not to play on April 15th.

Davies raved: “Every interview he’s given this season he looks like he wants to head-butt the interviewer. This tight-mouthed, furious, frowning, leaning-forward, bitter Glaswegian ranting, ‘Liverpool FC do not play on April 15th’.”

After beginning a poor impersonation of Dalglish, Davies broke off to say his attempt to mimic the Scotsman’s accent was “terrible because I hate him”.

Despite his fury on behalf of Chelsea – the last English club remaining in a European competition – Davies went on to admit he would think it was “awful” if they went on to win the Champions League.

Davies then aimed his sights at Tottenham Hotspur — bitter city rivals of his beloved Arsenal. He claimed Spurs had refused to move a fixture back in 1980, two days before the Gunners were due to play a semi-final against the Italian club Juventus in the Cup Winners’ Cup.

In another display of breathtaking insensitivity, Davies fired a scathing salvo at White Hart Lane bosses using a term the Nazis labelled Jews with in their vile propaganda. Tottenham chairman, Daniel Levy, is Jewish and the club has a strong Jewish following among its supporters.

He said: “What vermin run that club. They always have. Absolute vermin. Scum of the Earth.”

Davies then began singing: “You burn your own town,” a crass reference to the summer riots that devastated parts of Tottenham in north London.

 During the podcast, Davies also made fun of the Arsenal striker and Moroccan international Marouane Chamakh who was recently pictured smoking a shisha pipe. He joked Chamakh was “stoned out of his box” and was Arsenal’s “club dealer” peddling hashish to the rest of the squad from a “Range Rover with blacked out windows”.

He also made potentially libellous remarks about Oliver Holt – The Daily Mirror’s Chief Sportswriter. Insisting on referring to him as “Oliver Horseshit”, he called the award-winning journalist a “dickhead”, suggesting he had an issue with drink. “You can smell the alcohol in his tweets!” he laughed.

One listener to the podcast said: “I couldn’t believe my ears. Alan Davies comes across as such a nice bloke on the telly but he sounded like a lout in this broadcast. 

He seems to be a generally offensive person. This account makes it clear that he’ll have a go at anything.

Maybe he thinks it’ll endear him to Gooners, being so crass, insensitive and knuckle dragging.

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